Analysis Paralysis

Here I go again... thinking it's hard to do when the problem I can't see here, but now I do, is that I'm just making myself fear something I have not seen or done yet. It's quite ironic. And so I hate that part of myself.

I have stumbled an article about how to make life simple again and here's an excerpt:

"When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the more we complicate things for ourselves."

The full article is not much related to what I'm talking about. The excerpt, however, made me think that maybe the reason why I create such fear inside me is because I gained more knowledge than before. I mean, I can think and I can imagine what's it gonna be or what's going to happen... which results to making it look complicated and then fear of doing it. When in reality, it's really not that hard.

I just have to remember that last line. I'm a shy type of person and I sometimes can't help it to spend more time thinking. But then again, I guess I just have to do it to get over with it.

"Fear distorts reality."
—@Lotay via twitter

Your words did.

"pero sometimes naman, words can make people happy... hindi ba? (saka kelangan ba may pera to be happy? (syempre para next year libre nya ko ng maraming ice cream, cotton candy at stick-o) ), kamusta nga pala ung house and lot na pinadala ko sayo, natangap mo ba? nagustuhan mo? or gusto mo sa ibang bansa? sa palawan lang yan eh, sorry....

wag kang mag-alala, after all, nobody knows my true happiness but me.... parehas lang tayo!!!

ok lang yan.... tumanda ka lang naman ng one year eh, dala nga lang siguro ng stress... hhahahahahahahahaha

ayun, pray ko na lang na... maging happy ka na sana next year, sa susunod mong birthday, o kahit araw araw... balang araw, magiging masayang masaya ka.... (mag-coke ka kasi para makatanggap ka ng true Happiness)... hehehehehe
cge, pasensya na...."

By FRED on [not] Happy Birthday! on 9/24/09

—natutuwa ako sa tuwing binabasa ko 'to kaya naisipan kong irepost since malapit na ang birthday ko. Sana magkatotoo 'tong mga sinabi mo.

With sympathy and some well-chosen words, you can make people happy.

I'm expensive.

Mahal ako ng tatay ko dahil:

.pinagluto nya ko ng paborito kong chopsuey
.binibigyan ako ng pambili ng meryenda tuwing hapon
.sinesermonan ako kapag lasheng sya
.binili ako ng tsinelas nung nagreklamo ako dati na 'for public use' ang tsinelas ko dahil sinusuot nila kaya't di ako makaalis ng bahay
.nung kaming dalawa ang naiawan sa bahay at nagpabili ng tatlong banana cue, tinanong ko kung bakit.. sabi nya, akin raw yung dalawa


Mahal ako ng nanay ko dahil:

.ginawan nya ko ng shoulder bag ayon sa disenyo ko
.pinapatawa ako sa kakornihan ng mga hirit nyang jokes
.nagpapapicture sya saken kapag magandang maganda sya sa suot nya
.ako ang inuutusang magtimpla ng kape nya.. ang di nya alam, narinig kong sinabi nya sa kapatid ko na masarap akong magtimpla

Switch On/Off

First time kong maranasang sumakay ng jeep at biglang nagbrownout ang buong bayan. Ang una kong narinig ay ang mga tili at sigaw na akala mo'y kinagat ng ipis sa kanilang maseselang bahagi. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan pang magreact ng ganon. Siguro nga, natural na dahil nagulat sa pagkawala ng kuryente. Nagugulat din naman ako pero abnormal na siguro ako kasi hindi naman ako tumitili o sumisigaw. Naisip ko lang kasi, bakit kailangan pang maging exagerated e nawalan lang naman ng kuryente? At kahit anong inis at galit mo kung sakaling naputol ang ginagawa mo, nangyari na yon kaya wala ka nang magagawa. Mas mabuti sana kung ngingiti ka na lang at tanggapin yon.

Buti pa sa jeep na sinasakyan ko, may ilaw. Habang byahe, napansin kong naglabasan ang mga tao. Marami ring nagsindi ng kandila. Nag-alala ako sa mga taong mag-isang nagaabang sa tabi ng kalye kasi hindi sila ligtas dahil baka sakaling manakawan sila o kung ano mang masamang mangyari. Pinagdasal ko na lang na sana bantayan sila ni God. Tapos, napansin ko rin na ugali ng mga pinoy na magtipon-tipon at mgkwentuhan at alamin ang buhay-buhay ng bawat isa. Nakakatuwa kasi yun lang pala ang paraan para iwanan ang sariling mundo at makihalubilo sa ibang tao at maging malapit sa kanya-kanyang pamilya.

Wala palang kwenta ang teknolohiya nung mga oras na yon. Ang dami kong nadaanang mga computer cafe na nilangaw. Wala ring bukas na tv na pinapanatiling nakatitig at nakanganga ang mga nanonood sa loob ng bahay. Walang sounds at ilaw kaya biglang naging presko ang hangin at naging kapansin-pansin ang kalangitan. Kung tutuusin, parang bumalik sa panahon ng mga cavemen. Walang magawa ang mga tao. Hindi makausad. Parang tumigil sandali ang mundo. Hindi ko alam kung maaawa ba ako o matatawa na lang kasi nanatiling matatag ang mga cellphones. Sila ang naging bida. Halos lahat ng taong nakita ko sa daan, kundi nagtetext, may kausap naman. Naging oras din yon para magpayabangan ng mga model at matira ang matibay. Marami rin sigurong nagsex dahil walang magawa at madilim naman. LOL

At eto pa ang isang nakakatuwang masaksihan. Kung kanina, exagerated kapag nawalan ng ilaw, ngayon naman, parang dinaig pa ang mga cavemen sa pagkakadiskubre ng apoy nung magkaroon na ng kuryente. Merong 'YEHEY!' 'Ayoooooonnn! Sa wakaaaaaaasss!' 'WOOOOOOOO!!' 'Hay salamat.. may kuryente na.' at mga tawanan at iba pang sigawan na akala mo'y nagumpisa na ang piyesta. At syempre, dahil abnormal ako.. ngiti lang naman at nagpasalamat kay God na may kuryente na ulit. Balik na sa normal ang lahat na parang walang nangyari.

Gusto ko lang sanang isingit.. nung panahon kasi ng bagyong Ondoy, di ba nagbrownout din? Naalala ko lang kasi na naipon kami ng pamilya ko sa sala at nagsimulang magkwentuhan at magtawanan. :) Ayon na siguro ang isang magandang rason kung bakit pinapatay sandali ni God ang switch.

[not] Happy Birthday!

This is my second lonely birthday. Nothing special. Nothing exciting nor surprising. Greetings? Nah... they're just words. Just 7% of the total expression of feeling or emotion of a person. Though I still had appreciated the people who greeted me.

I tried to be happy. Believe me I did! After waking up, I talked to God [like I always do]. I thanked Him for my life and that I'm still alive. I also thanked for the loving people that I have now.
After that, I made my own breakfast. If there's a god or goddess of coffee, I'd be a devotee.. :D Anyway, family members, friends, and a best friend greeted me. And then, blah... blah... blah... yadah... yadah... yadah...

The sad part? It was another gone-in-the-calendar date. By the way, few days before this, I cut out the blocks that dated September 23 in all of the calendars in our home. So I guess that makes sense...
However, there's still one thing that kept my hope up. I was expecting for a very special gift from a very special person. Unfortunately... ... ...

Yeah! That's it! You got it! High five! :D

So, ummm... I'd probably start saving money now for my next birthday and I'll make sure it will be memorable and I'll enjoy every moment of it. After all, nobody knows my true happiness but me.

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) by Baz Luhrmann

I've heard this on the radio station, my favorite, Magic 89.9 one afternoon in their program called 'Positive Note.' The first time I heard it, I felt chills in my whole body… but in a positive way of course. :D I was instantly rejuvenated like all the negative thoughts came out in me and disappeared in the air. It gave me energy and a positive thinking that life is sweet. Hell yea! You will appreciate your life when you hear this! :D

Here is the lyrics:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99, wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

A long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable
than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice... now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Or never mind… you will not understand the power and
beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me.
In 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can’t grasp now
how much possibility lay before you
and how fabulous you really looked.
You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future or worry,
but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an
algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind...
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing, everyday, that scares you.

Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts.
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know, at 22,
what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t.
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40.
Maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance,
so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it.
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance.
Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings, they are the best link to your past,
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go.
But for the precious few, you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
because the older you get, the more you need
the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.
Accept certain inaliable truths.
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You too will get old.
And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young,
prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble,
and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse,
but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair
or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but,
be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.