Sunday, December 07, 2008

My cure for my candy.

The psychiatrist told me to take Danrobpethoffcin as my cure for my slight philophobia. It’s been a year since I had it. Thank goodness, it didn’t turn into a severe pain that might drown me in despair. He told me the early symptoms I should have seen but me, myself, didn’t notice it at all. Maybe because I was bedazzled by it’s effect on my entire body. “How did I get it?” I asked him. But he returned the question just by staring at me, which obviously meant that the answer is within me.

I looked back to my memory and instantly, I had phantasmagoria of happy memories while ignoring the little details of sad and regretful moments. I smiled while tears ran down my face. I then started to speak slowly as if every words took time embracing their momentarily existence. I told him all. From the day I found this freakin’ly delicious milk-coated chewy candy bar in an online candy store made from another country, which is five hours earlier of my time, until the day it became rare to have.


I admit, I was addicted to it. I’m selfish. I stay up late just to have it and so no one will bother to ask me to share it. I sometimes cry when it is not available online. I will hate it for a moment but I will still love it in the next few minutes even if I didn’t have it by then. I didn’t get tired of eating it every night even if it’s hard to chew. It’s not that sweet but I can tell, it’s distinctive taste made me crave for it. I swear I was an addict. I collect each and every cute pictures together with it and I watch its commercials over and over again. I make fun of some pictures and just staring at some of them makes me the happiest living person in the planet. Again, I’m an addict. But just this mid-year, it became limited. I can only get to have it on certain days and there’s only a slight chance of getting a free picture in it.

That’s when my symptoms became visible. I didn’t notice it until this psychiatrist analyzed me. He said I was sad… I was depressed… I was nostalgic… I was an addict. I missed it more than my real self. “That’s your problem,” he said. I forgot about my little self who’s just wandering inside of me and this super delicious candy bar made it invisible to my eyes. I cried. I was confused. I got lost of my track. I didn’t know what to do next. It’s like all the problems, even the non-related, jumped into my mind all at once trying to fit each of themselves and pushing others around. A river of tears streamed across my cheeks and meaningless words came out of my mouth. “Hush. Relax.” he said and slowly stood up and went to his table. I became quiet giving my tears the opportunity to show how I feel.

He went back carrying a tray and placed it on a table in front of me. On it, there was a white bottle and beside it was a flat round-shaped brown-colored tablet. “You can have it if you like. Anyway, it’s really for you,” he told me. I hesitated. It looks old… like it was left alone in a shelf for a long time and just waiting for someone to have it. Without a doubt, I took it and popped it in my mouth. But then, it suddenly came to my mind that he didn’t say anything about it. Will it fill my head with air as if I’m on a high or will it kill me so that I will get away with everything quickly? Am I being deceived again? I chewed it. A moment later, a flavor of chocolate had spread in my tongue. It was a different kind of chocolate because it also tickles me. I was enlightened. I was relieved. It filled me with love. It was like a breath of fresh air. I liked it a lot. “Thank you,” I said and he replied with a very warm welcome.

It’s been months now and I kind of moved on to this new tablet which makes me feel satisfied. Every time I eat it, it gives the taste that I like… the simple joy that I need. I keep in a very safe place. A place where no one could find it. Haha! Funny because I still have this selfish attitude. But why wouldn’t I be? The label says it is for me. And it is better than my old freakin’ly delicious milk-coated chewy candy bar. But ok, I confess… I still somehow crave for it but just a teeny-weeny-tiny bit. Nothing more. But the tablet? It’s the best cure for me by far.